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The power of reinvention ~ Beautiful Body

by Vivian Fleitstra on April 5, 2014

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Here I am sitting in my sunroom, watching the morning sunrise and shared one on my Facebook page, from a friend of mine that always captures the beautiful sunrises in Boca Raton, FL.  I’m feeling grateful for the day, finally feels like Spring in Maryland.  My mind drifts to thoughts of being outdoors, summer, beach, swimming, the usually warm weather pleasantries.  It leads me to thoughts of bikinis, swimsuit weather and my mind goes to how that has made me feel in the past, which leads me today’s topic of discussion.

I am going to apologize upfront for the long post but I thought it was important and wanted to share it.

In my studies lately, still focusing on compulsive behaviors, body image and looking at how this applies to myself.  It’s interesting because the lecture by Geneen Roth, discusses that life revolves around what you don’t want to feel and dieting is an expression of saying I don’t want this life, and wanting something in your life to be different, thinking it will be, because you are thin.  I admit, I have done this, over and over, and over again.  Coming up with reasons, that if I was thin, I’d be more attractive, I could wear small sizes, I’d look better in a swimsuit, more guys would like me (when I was younger and single), I’d be more popular, etc., etc.  The list goes on and on.  Why are we doing to ourselves? We are taught this in our culture and society.  I was also taught it growing up, and conditioned in our culture.  Look at the media and marketing for one.  Look at this article, We feel sad for Cindy Crawford. It is a sad story when you think that this successful, accomplished, beautiful woman, is still fighting the body image battle.  Look at her in that photo.  She is beautiful.  She is not alone.  How many of us do this to ourselves?  How many times have you been your biggest critic?  Heard that voice inside telling you, you aren’t worthy or not good enough, or too fat, too thin, not pretty, too old, too young, too big…. it goes on and on.  Time to stop the negative self-talk.

With eating disorders, we become what we won’t allow ourselves to feel.  We live in a hell.  Life revolves around what you don’t want to feel.  I believe this is true for addiction as well.  We flee from the pain, look for something to make us feel better.  Whether that is eating, drinking, drugs, whatever it is.  And it does produce a chemical reaction in the brain releasing dopamine and serotonin in the brain.  So behaviors are linked with the physical changes and feelings.

It’s time to focus on our beautiful bodies and be accepting of our unique individual self.  We are all beautiful people. I truly believe this.  It has taken time and many healing moments of my own to become accepting of myself, and love my being.  I am still a work in progress, but I don’t weigh myself every day, actually not even weekly, more like twice a month.  Through school, I’ve learned how to improve my eating behaviors, eat the right foods but more importantly look at myself and my life and make improvements in areas that make me grow and get a deeper understanding of who I was, who I am and accepting of my life, my experiences and past situations do not define me, yes, they make up who I am, but only a small part of who I AM.  I get to decide what I keep and what I let go.

When you are stop focusing on the “food” and “weight”, and allow room for other areas such as work; relationships and your spiritual being and focus on bringing yourself back to what you feel in your body, you begin to get to the root of the issues.  Don’t be disillusioned, it takes work and it takes time.  But as with any transformation journey, it is worth it, because it is freeing of your soul and being.

I will share some of my learning and experience for your knowledge and you may find it helpful for looking at making positive changes and addressing some of these issues for yourself.

I recommend a using a journal.  I have a journal and I find very useful to write out my feelings, thoughts, affirmations.  In my practice, I use journaling as a tool with my clients to help bring insight and understanding to working through their journey.

I would even suggest writing out how you feel when you eat, when you don’t, as the first step.  I also have my clients use food diaries so I can work with them on their eating patterns and behaviors as we move through the process.

Helpful questions to begin looking inward.

1.  What part of my life do you not want to be living?  What’s going on with me and how do I feel about myself?   Focus on feeling it and not fixing it.  Say it again – Feeling it, not fixing it.  Feel it in your body and write down. Don’t judge it, just write it.

2.  What do I feel that I would rather not?  Visualize your happy and safe place.  Think Soften and stay.  Soften to what is going on with your feelings and stay present.  Don’t allow yourself or your mind to drift, stay present.  Think Soften and stay in my safe place.

Be patient with yourself.

I am not a medical professional.  I am a health and wellness coach.   The information provided here is based on my own experience, learning and knowledge.  I share this on my blog as my way of reaching out to those who want to improve their lives and make change so they are not locked behind in the past and past experiences, keeping you from improving your life, health, happiness and overall well-being.  I want to show you that it’s possible, whatever your journey in life, health and wellness, it can be transformed and re-invented.

Learn to know this and believe it. The world needs you in it.  You are beautiful. Tell yourself that every day.  Treat yourself as you would treat your best friend and someone you love.  You deserve it too.  Look in the mirror with loving eyes. Loving starts with you first.

Wishing you peace and blessings.

To learn more about my coaching services, to work with me, my offerings, please visit my website.

Thanks for reading. ~ Vivian.

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